This is part of my job

What were you doing on 17th March 2008 from 1am to 2.30am?
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Sleeping?
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Surfing net?
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I was stuck in this place, cleaning up. Guess where this place is?

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And look how disgusting it is.

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See how greasy the water is? I think you must be wondering what the pile of brownish thing is.

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What time did I go home that day? 4am.

This Cruel World

So much had happened since my last entry and seriously, I don't know what and how to tell you all. My heart simply hurts everytime I think of it.

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The wind started to blow during the week after CNY break. It gathered strength the following Monday during an internal meeting and by the next day, the storm came. The climax began to creep in that night and by Wednesday afternoon, it was all over. Everything ended in less than 24 hours.

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I lost 2 colleagues. 2 of my best brothers.

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They are the last that I would expect to go.

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They are not even the target.

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They are in fact the more capable guys compared to those who escape unscathed.

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What had they done to deserve an immediate termination of their service and got a month's pay as compensation? They are more than happy to serve their one month notice so that they can at least bid farewell to those that they care, and have a proper handover of duties to their colleagues.

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This just should not end like this. It was totally unacceptable to me!

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So much went through my mind and the reaction time was so short.

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I lost it. I cried my heart out for almost 2 hours in front of my boss who could not do much to console me.

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He could not even give me good explanations for most of my sharp questions directed at him. I noticed that his eyes were also red when I came to some personal and emotional parts. Some points must have hit him on his tender spots too. I hope he regretted his decision after hearing my point of view and he wake up.

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This job is already tough enough with too many parties to please and what are my colleagues doing to one another? I don't have to put myself through this. Not when I can get a job with lesser negative externalities.

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It was the story of trying to kill with a borrowed knife from the start.

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But things got out of hand and already-disheartened and demoralised people wanted to leave. The target tried to salvage the situation by persuading them to stay but to no avail. To save himself, he reversed the situation to become the aggressor and let 2 innocent guys stepped forward to be the scapegoats of this whole episode. In the end, the fella who started all these was guilty of manslaughter. Worst of all, he killed someone else that he did not intend to get rid of.

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Yes, this is my first full-time job and this is also the first time that I witnessed such cruelty in life. But this was simply too much! The adult world is not for me yet.

Guess who's in the picture?

Both pictures taken recently during company's D&D.

Guess who's in the picture?

Little Updates

Hi everyone,

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Haven't been blogging since last October and that was 3 months ago. I am still surviving in my present company, though losing steam day by day.

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During the 3 months that I was away, little happened to my already boring life but there are some developments in my career. One of my colleagues left and I took over his duties as the Second-Key (aka second manager-in-charge). After about a month, my First-Key was transferred back to his original outlet and I took over his duties. Things happened so fast that there was so little time to react and adjust. Responsibilities just came to you because you are the overall in-charge.

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Can you imagine a 22-year-old fresh grad (a female some more) taking care of a food court? It is scary. I was responsible for turnover of a stall, in a tough negotiation process with one of the more difficult tenants, making a decision that would cost my job if not handled properly, trying to "sell" stall spaces, doing recruitment and interviews for servers and most recently, involved in JobsDB recruitment for the BT Group. It is hard for me to list what I had done for all my time with this company but there are of course lessons to take home.

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I haven't heard of female in-charge in local food courts and I am wondering if I the only one who has gone so far. It is definitely a tough and demanding job. I don't mean to say that females can't do it but we are at an disadvantage due the some shortcomings brought about by gender.

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So a short note here to say that "I am back!". We catch up again.

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Cheers!

My Dear Colleagues

Cindy, Xiuqin, Weishan and Sibing must be very familiar with some of my colleagues even though they have not met them. I have been telling so many stories about them that my friends feel that they know my colleagues personally too. So they will go "Oh... that Armani guy..." and "Oh... he's that blah blah blah guy..." whenever I tell them about my work life.

This is 1 of the pictures taken during our monthly gathering for management and servers. So, Cindy, XQ, WS and SB, guess who's who in this pic (no prize for correct guesses though!).

Convocation on 24th July 2007

My parents and I

My Global Marketing Strategy group mates - Ningjia, Feizi and Rhys
Lilin and Huai Ren

Kailin and Kaiwen (Gals, thank you so much for the flowers!)

"Long-lost" RV 4I classmate, Huiyi. We haven't seen each other since we completed O level.
Lynn, who had the same Professional Attachment (PA) Supervisor and we met each other in the same tutorial conducted by our supervisor.

Yuwei, my HNL colleague who happened to see me after congratulating her friends.

My Uni best friend and classmate, Weijing together with Yongming, her elder brother. We shared a lot of fun experiences working on the same projects.
My Applied Research Project mates, Weijing and Chong Wah.

Mr Clive Choo, my PA supervisor cum Strategic Management tutor together with Yongming and Weijing.

Jocelyn and I
Weilin and I
AJC 33/02 classmate, Sally
Ningjia and I

RV 4I classmate, Fangrui

Yingying and I

As you can see the date of my convocation in the title, these pictures were long overdue. Sorry guys, these space has been badly neglected since I started working. But better late than never, right?

At the crossroad

I will be officially graduating from NTU in about 9 hours time when my Convocation Ceremony starts at 10pm.

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It does feel a bit funny to realise that I am still an "undergraduate" at this moment in time but I have actually been slogging hard at work for nearly 2 months. The 2 months away from books, library, tutorial rooms, LT and Profs sometimes make me rather emotional, especially when I am troubled over work.

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I thought I can survive the harsh conditions at work when I was in Wisma, but I was wrong. After the first honeymoon week in Suntec, I am really reconsidering my priorities and my career path. I am exposed to all the cruel realities that are existing in this company, the working style and true colours of my superior, the unreasonable tenants who are not on the same frequency and all the negative elements that make me feel demoralised and disillusioned. Everyday is a brand new day with age-old problems that are outstanding. Sometimes I feel helpless, not knowing what to do with the problems that my colleagues and I faced.

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I have high expectations for myself, I want to perform my very best. That leaves me feeling defeated when I can't get things right and things don't get moving. Last week was terrible, I felt depressed trying to cope with the amount of paper work and operational issues. Telling my parents about the problems at work only made them worry for me. When I felt that I am feeling better on Saturday, things started crashing again on Sunday morning. I needed to hand in assignments to the language centre before going back to work and I wasn't feeling too good after receiving a call informing me of what happened. My colleagues at the centre could sense how stressed I was. Dr Liang even left a sms for me telling me to "take a deep breathe". But the line which made me really emotional contained merely 5 words -“天冷就回来”. I felt like breaking down. Even though I arrived at Suntec an hour before my working hours, I didn't want to report to work straight away. I felt that if I were to step into the office immediately, I will surely cry.

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I seldom feel so helpless in life and crying over problems is so unlike my usual self. But I guess the water level has been rising continuously, and probably at a rate so fast that I suddenly find myself struggling in the open sea rather than the baby pool. I am not someone who gives up easily though. My 3 months of probation with the company is also the trial period I gave myself to accustom to this industry. If I feel that I can't cope with all the negative externalities, I am leaving for good.

菜鸟随笔#2 (Account of a "New Bird")

FYI, I have been stationed in Suntec since this Monday. So if you went to look for me in Wisma, paiseh. Come and say hello if you happen to come to Suntec. It's smaller than Wisma, so I assume it won't be too difficult to locate me (unless I am in the office doing paperwork).

When I thought I am all ready for this job after 1 month in Wisma, I am faced with new uncertainties and challenges that I have never thought of after my transfer.

I feel that the people in Wisma is warmer and more closely-knitted (at least that's how I feel). Maybe it's because Suntec has just opened and everybody is getting to know one another.

People don't joke as much here and I can sometimes feel the strain in relationships between the different groups of people that we have to work with. There're so many complexities and problems left dangling that we have to resolve. There is the difference in working and management style here that I have to cope with - I don't want to be the "chao siao on" in the team but I want to be responsible enough to do my job. I want to let the people feel that they can rely on me and I am "different". But I don't want my other colleagues to feel that I am too being too "different".

It's complicated.

小小的感动

前天早上在书桌上发现一叠折起来的钞票。

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是爸爸每个月固定发放的“粮饷”。

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心里一阵莫名的感动——我都工作一个月了，还差几天就要领薪水了，但他还是不放心，怕我在等拿薪水的一个月期间不够钱花。

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现在那些钱还放在桌上，我真的不好意思收下。

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大学的学费靠的是从小父母替我存在银行户口的储蓄，还有这两年多在语文中心的酬劳。语文中心的那份薪水虽然不算多，但省一省也够我平时的开销。可是爸爸还是会每个月给我零用钱。

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现在我出来工作了，是时候让他喘口气了。

菜鸟随笔#1 (Account of a "New Bird")

My most spoken language at work (in descending order):

Mandarin, Broken-Singlish (what can be worse than this?), Hokkien, Malay

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My direct colleagues:

My Manager, Senior Supervisor and 2 Supervisors (ALL male)

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My indirect colleagues:

The cleaning team consisting of uncles and aunties together with young lads from Sabah and Sarawak, the stall attendants who are mostly uncles and aunties also.

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The most "shocking" moment on my first day:

Hearing the manager sprouts vulgarity in a closed-door meeting in the office (I think he would have cursed more "aggressively" if a girl is not there)

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The "proudest" moment:

To learn that I am the first female in the entire operation team

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The irony:

To lose 2kg since I started working, even though I am supposedly working in a food paradise

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The most paiseh:

To be called all sorts of names like “小姐”,“美女”and “美美” and you have to respond

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The ultimate-act-blur:

To act as if nothing happens even though you know the young lads and uncles are ogling or talking behind your back

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My worst fear:

That my English and Mandarin will worsen

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The constant reminder to myself:

That I must not act like an Ah-Lian outside work

Clever advertisement

Initially wanted to post this on last Sunday for Fathers' Day but I forgot. Can you see how clever this advertisement is?

A student no more...

About 2 months ago, I was still trying hard to complete my projects and presentations. Then, after all the preparations for exams, I sat for my final exams. Now, my student life is over.

I have been sending out resumes since end of last year but no company replied. Then I tried my luck after seeing Food Republic recruitment on Recruit (although I wasn't really keen on a job in the F&B industry due to prior experience). 2 days later, I received a call from the HR and I was told to go down for an interview at Suntec.

The interview was not to choose a suitable candidate but more of a getting-to-know-you session. In other words, I was shortlisted even before the interview and the session was only to see if this person is ok. After a week of consideration, I accepted the offer and on 1st June, I started work in Wisma.

Things happened in such fast pace that I hardly feel the transition from a student's life to a working adult's life. Into the second week of my work, I terribly miss school life because there's greater freedom and more time for my vices. Now, life is a regular pattern of work-sleep, work-sleep and work-sleep... I hardly have time to read the papers, check my email, surf net and make plans to go for performances.

Due to the nature of my work, I have to work on shift and on weekends when others are out making merry or resting at home. If I am on the morning shift, I report to work at 8am and end my work at 3.30pm on weekdays and 4pm on weekends. However, this isn't the case because unforeseen events usually happened just before I finished work and I often stayed back for more than an hour. Sometimes, my manager would give us "lectures" lasting an hour. The afternoon shift starts on 3.30pm and 4pm on the weekday and weekend respectively. Work ends at 11pm on weekday and 12am plus on weekend. So imagine reaching home at 1am and reporting to work again at 8am.

The people I meet there is very diverse and the things I do are not the kind of things that you would expect a graduate to do. There are a lot of interesting stories to tell right from Day 1 but I don't seem to have the time to blog about it. So hopefully I can release bite-size information about my experiences whenever I can. Do keep a look out!

Indulgence

It seems that I just can't get enough of The Phantom of the Opera.

If you haven't been reading my previous entry, Brad Little played the Phantom for the musical in Singapore. I feel that his voice is more expressive and powerful than Michael Crawford, the original Phantom. Crawford's voice is thinner and sometimes lacks variation in tone. However, I must say that without Crawford's initial interpretation and contribution to the creation of this dark character behind the mask, the Phantom would not go this far. So Crawford must still be lauded for his talent which shapes the Phantoms that we see now.

Here's a clip dedicated to you, Julia - "Brad Little, Unmasked". Feel his strong stage presence albeit without the mask.

Brad Little sings "Music of the Night"

Here's an interesting one - the actors and actresses talking about the show when they were in Hong Kong.

Interview of Brad Little, Marni Raab & John Bowles

More audio clips of Brad Little singing. He's amazing.

The Mirror/Angel of Music/The Phantom of the Opera

I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It

The Point of No Return

All I Ask of You

Little sang the song for his South Korean fans before his concert impromtu, without accompaniment. This song is actually sang by Raoul and Christine in the musical. Little was playing the role of Raoul before he went on the play the Phantom.

An introduction to The Phantom of the Opera

Prologue

The Phantom of the Opera is a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, based on the novel novel by French novelist Gaston Leroux. The music was composed by Webber, with lyrics by Charles Hart and additional lyrics by Richard Stilgoe.

The musical focuses on a beautiful singer, Christine Daaé, who becomes the obsession of a mysterious, disfigured musical genius known as "The Phantom of the Opera," who terrorizes the Paris Opera.

The Phantom of the Opera was inspired by a different musical version of the same story by Ken Hill, which Lloyd Webber saw at the Theatre Royal Stratford East in 1984 . The music for Lloyd Webber's version was composed specifically for the voice of his then-wife Sarah Brightman.

The musical was produced by Cameron Mackintosh and Lloyd Webber's Really Useful Group and opened at Her Majesty's Theatre in London on October 9, 1986, where it still runs as of 2007. The original cast included Michael Crawford (the Phantom), Sarah Brightman (Christine), and Steve Barton (Raoul), all of whom reprised their roles in the Broadway production, which opened on January 26, 1988 at the Majestic Theatre, where it still is running as of 2007. It is now the longest-running Broadway musical of all time, breaking the record held by Lloyd Webber's Cats on January 9, 2006 with its 7,486th performance.

Major Characters

• The Phantom of the Opera (tenor/baritone) — The genius composer and musician who lives beneath the opera house. Facially deformed from birth, the Phantom hides behind a white mask and is known to the managers and actors as the "Opera Ghost". His name is given in the novel as Erik. The role of the Phantom was first performed by Michael Crawford, with over 1,300 performances in London, New York, and Los Angeles. Although the role of The Phantom is normally played by a tenor, he has been played by baritones numerous times, including Gerard Butler in the film version and Howard McGillin who holds the record for most performances in the role on Broadway (over 1,300).

• Christine Daaé (soprano) — A chorus girl at the Opéra Populaire, and the daughter of a prominent violinist. Although talented, she lacks focus until the Phantom takes her under his wing and teaches her to sing. The role of Christine Daae is generally shared by two performers; the regular actress performs six times a week and the alternate performs at the other two performances. This practice was started by the original London and Broadway Christine Daae, Sarah Brightman, ostensibly due to the vocal demands of the role.

• Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny (tenor/baritone) — The patron of the Opéra Populaire and a childhood sweetheart of Christine's, who rediscovers her singing at the Opéra.

The haunting theme song of The Phantom of the Opera

Brad Little, playing Phantom in this clip, was the Phantom that we saw in Singapore. He's the Phantom with an expressive voice and some even feel that his fingers are "sexy".

Music of the Night

Did you notice that this is a direct continuation of the previous clip? It's just that the cast is different ie. the "Phantom" and "Christine" are different.

This is still "Music of the Night". But this clip is significant as the Phantom here is Michael Crawford, who was the original Phantom in the 1986 London play, inspiring the many Phantoms after that. His style of acting, body movements and voice expressions are still seen in many Phantoms even till today.

All I Ask of You (Reprise)

This is Brad Little again. You can't help but feel sorry for Phantom when he slowly revealed himself from behind the statue. Apparently, he had saw Christine and Raoul singing "All I Ask of You" on the rooftop of the opera house and how we wished he had not seen it. Knowing that he saw it made us all pity him.

The Point of No Return

I find that the arrangement of the "The Point of No Return" sounds a bit like tango in the beginning. This scene is really the climax of the whole musical. Phantom posed as Don Juan in the opera he wrote, which was supposed to be played by Piangi, a flamboyant Italian-accent actor. However, Phantom killed Piangi and assumed his role as Don Juan, acting with Chrsitine without her knowing. Climax comes when Piangi was found dead on the set, and Christine revealed the hood of Don Juan to find the deformed face of Phantom. This is the first time audience get to see the face behind the mask after so long into the musical.

"The Angel of Music Sings Songs in My Head..."

最近几天，脑子里都是《The Phantom of the Opera》里面的旋律。感觉有点像 Christine 一样，被 Phantom 的歌声迷惑了。所以这篇以 《Angel of Music》里面，Christine 唱的 “The Angel of Music sing songs in my head! ”为题。

我很少因为爱情故事而感动，遑论掉泪。但上个星期三在看《The Phantom of the Opera》的时候，我真的有掉泪的冲动。华丽多变的服装、似真似幻的舞台设计、出色的灯光音效、魔术般的舞台特效、动人耐听的歌曲、优秀的演员、注定要以悲剧收场的故事……不感动，很难。

有一点后悔没有狠下心买贵一点的门票（虽然当晚的$97的门票是忍痛买下的，而且踌躇了好久）。

剧中非常经典的一幕——男女主角乘着小船到 Phantom 的地下 labyrinth。

一个半边脸毁容、必须靠面具才能面对别人的人，要怎么和一个样貌堂堂的美男子竞争？如果你是女主角Christine，你会要一个青梅竹马（后来失去联络，但又重逢）、英俊潇洒的Raoul，还是一个见不得人、只能靠完美又具催眠性的声音来迷惑人心的Phantom（其实在原著里他叫Erik）？所以，虽然她沉醉于他的歌声之中、虽然她对它又敬又畏，但 Raoul 的完美更凸显出 Phantom 的残缺。她和Phantom 是师徒关系，仅此而已，谈婚论嫁绝对不会考虑他。Raoul的出现，又或许是 Phantom 本身的不完美，注定要让他的爱情没有童话般的结局。这里没有“happily ever after”的结局。Phantom 作为弱者，又没有得到 Christine，观众自然对他更加同情。

一个性格扭曲、长期与外界隔绝的人，要怎么学会去爱？他本来充满仇恨和占有欲，想要把Christine占为己有。可是，Christine 最后在他的威逼下宁愿跟他走，为的只是要救她的真爱Raoul。这才让他了解什么叫爱。他虽然悲痛欲绝，但却还是成全了他们，让自己消失在歌剧院的阴暗地下水道中。

对于 Phantom 这个角色的成功塑造，正是这部音乐剧自80年代首演以来历久不衰的原因。

毫无疑问，他是个性格复杂的悲剧人物。他是个歌剧奇才、声音完美无瑕。他对 Christine 用情至深，关爱备至。他占有欲强、心狠手辣，更是杀人凶手。他不完全是坏人，但也绝对不是好人。

可是，观众还是比较同情他的。就像我，我在最后他硬把 Christine 赶走，让她和Raoul远走高飞的时候，既感到心酸又感动。为了成全爱人而牺牲自己，以至最后得不到所爱的人，确实更叫人同情怜爱。这个人物的种种不幸——以生俱来的脸部缺陷所带来的性格扭曲、渴望被爱却又无法得到，牵动着整个音乐剧，也因此让观众投入了大量的感情。看到最后 Phantom 把 Christine 赶走，Christine 把戒指还给他时，我的心大概也和他一样，彻底碎了……

音乐剧结束后走出剧院，眼泪还在眼眶里打转，《Music of the Night》、《Phantom of the Opera》、《All I Ask of You》、《The Point of No Return》等等旋律在脑海中久久不散。看来这一段日子我还会彻底 indulge 在这其中，至少让我在还没堕入红尘体验世俗之苦前，让 The Angel of Music Sings Songs in My Head……