This Cruel World

So much had happened since my last entry and seriously, I don't know what and how to tell you all. My heart simply hurts everytime I think of it.

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The wind started to blow during the week after CNY break. It gathered strength the following Monday during an internal meeting and by the next day, the storm came. The climax began to creep in that night and by Wednesday afternoon, it was all over. Everything ended in less than 24 hours.

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I lost 2 colleagues. 2 of my best brothers.

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They are the last that I would expect to go.

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They are not even the target.

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They are in fact the more capable guys compared to those who escape unscathed.

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What had they done to deserve an immediate termination of their service and got a month's pay as compensation? They are more than happy to serve their one month notice so that they can at least bid farewell to those that they care, and have a proper handover of duties to their colleagues.

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This just should not end like this. It was totally unacceptable to me!

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So much went through my mind and the reaction time was so short.

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I lost it. I cried my heart out for almost 2 hours in front of my boss who could not do much to console me.

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He could not even give me good explanations for most of my sharp questions directed at him. I noticed that his eyes were also red when I came to some personal and emotional parts. Some points must have hit him on his tender spots too. I hope he regretted his decision after hearing my point of view and he wake up.

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This job is already tough enough with too many parties to please and what are my colleagues doing to one another? I don't have to put myself through this. Not when I can get a job with lesser negative externalities.

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It was the story of trying to kill with a borrowed knife from the start.

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But things got out of hand and already-disheartened and demoralised people wanted to leave. The target tried to salvage the situation by persuading them to stay but to no avail. To save himself, he reversed the situation to become the aggressor and let 2 innocent guys stepped forward to be the scapegoats of this whole episode. In the end, the fella who started all these was guilty of manslaughter. Worst of all, he killed someone else that he did not intend to get rid of.

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Yes, this is my first full-time job and this is also the first time that I witnessed such cruelty in life. But this was simply too much! The adult world is not for me yet.